Soo....nobody except Shelley has even looked at this new blog....
Guess its going to be a lonely adventure then....like the last five months of my life. Adventures aren't really adventures if you by yourself. They aren't fun, they aren't interesting, and they don't leave you with a stupid grin on your face that adventures with your friends, or even people that annoy you (they could be the same though :P) do.
I've been living in Italy for five months. 2 and a half of those months were spent lonely and bored, friendless, and worried.
Then I made a couple friends. Things started getting better. I had somewhere to go. An outlet. People that were my own age. But even with the friendship, and even though it grew into good friendship, I still feel lonely, even if I'm with my friends. Loneliness doesn't mean your alone all the time. Its the being excluded from converstation, not being included in plan making, or descision making about where to go, what to do, what to eat, where to eat if your going out. Not having poeple care enough about you to help save you a lot of trouble or for them to inconvenience themselves so that you can feel safe or secure about making your bus, or train, or whatever your doing. Always being thought of last, or nearly last. Spending the afternoons with bratty children and having no refuge in the evening except for a plastic machine that evenually gives you a headache and hurts your eyes.
Being unable to communicate to anyone save for a few poeple. The people you interact with on a day to day basis speaking to you only when necessary. Going out by yourself or with a couple of friends and not being able to understand a word that is being said between them or by anyone else, and not having it explained to you later. Unsure that if you go out and want to buy something that you will be understood, unsure that if you get lost, you will be able to ask someone for directions.
Loneliness is something I've never really truly experienced....until now.
2 comments:
Wow, Gin.... um. Wow. I'd say that goes beyond mere lonliness and into... what?... I don't know what to call it. But there is a difference between the lonliness one experiences when one is only without family and friends(I mean REAL friends) and when one is without family and friends, and in a foreign country. I mean, not only do they not speak your language(and all those other things you mentioned), but the culture is different.
I am bored and lonely. I have Nate and Andrea, but not really any friends, and not even a faux family. However, I DO know that I can go anywhere, almost anytime of the day, and even if I get lost, I'll never be HOPElessly lost. So... the long and short.. no just long... of it is..........
I'm sorry.
:P
PS. I too am feeling particularly lonely right now.
Aw...thanks. Yeah, we are the lonely sisters I guess. Especially now that everyone else is at home. :(
Oh well, We'll be there soon enough right? Can't wait for our date with Snange...soooooooo looking forward to it. AND we have to go to Roman Nose too. :)
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