Well, I have one week to go. A week from today I will be on a plane back home. I can't beleive that it is here already. I mean, it has been a long time, and it feels like its been a long time, but it also feels like just yesterday I was getting on a plane to go to Italy. Oh...that day was terrible. I have never felt so terrible in my entire life. I was panicky, scared out of my mind, homesick, and very young. I know I'm only 7 months older, but I feel as if I've aged alot. I think living away from home and becoming independent makes you grow up fast. I have no fear of traveling or going places alone anymore. And I don't need or want anyone to hold my hand when I do new things. I used to be really dependent on people doing things for me, but I feel like now I finally can do things for myself. I've been away from home so long, I don't know how it will be going back home and living with my parents. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I love home, and I love that house. I have loved living there...but...I kind of feel like I'm going to chafe when I go back. That I might need to live away from home from now on. I want to live in Oklahoma, just perhaps not with my parents. But, I don't know how it will be, so I'll wait until I go home to see how it is. Maybe I'll end up finishing college in DC with Carrie. That would be really great. But, I would need a gynormous amount of scholarship/grant/anyother free kind of money that I could possibly get. If Got wants me to go there, He will get it for me.
Anyway, Scotland has been good. I wish that I'd had a friend, but at least I don't feel isolated here like I did in Italy. Language is so important, and I fully realize that now. I'm glad that I can at least speak the same language as everybody else. I really cannot wait to go home though. Its just nice to be with people that you know. I'm tired of just being with people that I've met. Although I do feel like I acutally know Jim and Betty. At first it was all politness and good manners, but now I feel like I'm being more myself, more of a human being instead of just a polite girl robot or something. Anyway...I'm gonna go.
